All the Single Mittens

 

I get a little depressed seeing all the lonely single gloves left behind on sidewalks, on stair rails, on top of mailboxes. I wrote this to cheer myself up. (It was going to be a full length video, but because we fell short of the predicted 17 feet of sn*w, I have to go to work. Here are the lyrics, if you want to sing along... 

ALL THE SINGLE MITTENS
Parody by Sarah Gowan with apologies to Beyoncé

All the single mittens, all the single mittens,
All the single mittens, all the single mittens
All the single mittens, all the single mittens
All the single mittens
Now put your hands up

Up in the snow, we just broke up,
I'm doing my own little thing.
Decided to sled and now you wanna trip
'Cause another Frosty noticed me

I got gloss on my lips, wearing the Chapstick
Got me tighter in my flannel lined jeans
Acting up, cocoa in my cup,
I can care less what you think

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a string on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a string on it
Don't be mad once you see that you lost it
'Cause if you liked it, then you shoulda put a string on it
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't treat me to the things of the world, I'm not that kind of girl
Your gloves are what I prefer, what I deserve
Here's a glove that makes me, then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your sleeves, say I'm the one you want
If you don't, you'll be alone, and like a flake, I'll be gone

All the single mittens, all the single mittens
All the single mittens, all the single mittens
All the single mittens, all the single mittens
All the single mittens

Now put your hands up Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a string on it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a string on it
Don't be mad once you see that you lost it
If you liked it, then you shoulda put a string on it
Oh, oh, oh.