Sidelined

I got a message from a friend who was looking for homeopathic doctors who might help her daughter with a serious depression problem. While I don't think homeopathy works (at least it doesn't do a damn thing for me, anyway), I do think there are alternative medical practices that are helpful. I want to offer advice, but my advice is probably not going to help. At least not today - tomorrow's advice might be OK.

I know because tonight I feel horrible. My depression is back with a vengeance, and every medication, alternative and conventional, I've tried drives my blood pressure through the roof, so I face this next round unmedicated. I exercise like crazy because it's supposed to be more effective than antidepressants and sobbed the whole time. My heart rate is awesome, but its hard to take your own pulse while weeping.  Of course I did choose to exercise in a cemetery which made me think of all of my dead friends, so maybe I ought to stick to the treadmill for now, but the cemetery was so exquisitely beautiful and the solitude was perfect.  Then I tripped coming in my own damn back door and took a fall that wrenched all the already painful parts of me and even some parts I didn't know could hurt. At this point if I thought homeopathy would help, I'd be snorting those tiny pellets like a junkie.

Tonight I feel awful, but someone I know and love may feel awful, too and so I throw this out there so we can feel horrible together until we feel better. And tomorrow we may think of something funny we wanted to say.

I don't feel like being funny tonight, but I did manage to get my ass inexplicably hooked onto one of my bedroom pillows today, which was pretty goddamn hilarious, in hindsight. 

Tonight I feel wretched, but I learned that at nearly 60 years old writing is my junkie pellet.

Go figure.

PS: I almost stepped on this dude on my "therapeutic" walk.