I Stop
I speak up because not all abuse leaves bruises,
but it always leaves scars.
I speak out because not all violence ends a life,
but it always stops one.
My life stops every time another priest or politician is accused,
Until I remember I can breathe.
My life stops leaving me sleepless and circling my aching heart
When the man who put his hands on me is deified,
His good works eclipsing my pain
I stop.
I stop my life for a few seconds, for a day, for months,
totaling years
to tend the scars and grieve.
I stop, unable to feel focused and joyful
Until churning thoughts are sorted
and, exhausted, my world is set to rights again.
Stop with me from time to time to witness my pain and grief and anger.
Stop with loved ones and strangers alike
and be still
diverting the world around us
while we gather ourselves
and whisper for the 10000th time,
"This was not my fault."
Sarah Gowan 2019
