Monday, December 2, 2013

Continuing Adventures with the Lady Business

Me: Ow, ow, ow, my back hurts. It's weird, it feels just like PMS except I haven't got any PMSing hormones or ladyparts.

BBE: Well, maybe you have an Imaginary Friend.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Sarah's Oven Caramelized Onions

So I screwed up at the grocery store and bought too many onions and since these are the expensive organic onions I didn't want any to go to waste. I love caramelized onions, but don't usually have time to make them. This is an oven method that takes a couple of hours, but you can do other things while they're cooking and cook a whole lot at once.

I used:
3 lbs organic onions
2 T olive oil
2 T butter
some salt

You also need:
Deep lidded oven proof pan
Some kind of timer

Preheat the oven to 425˚

Cut up your onions like this:

I have a kitchen exhaust fan that sounds like a 747 and sucks the dust bunnies from the attic, so onion tears aren't an issue for me. If you don't have a kitchen fan, you might want to consider a pair of extremely practical and oh so fashionable Onion Goggles.

Heat up the oil and butter in a deep oven-proof pan with a lid (I use a cast iron dutch oven) then throw in the chopped onions and stir to coat with the oil. Sprinkle in some salt - I used about 1/2  teaspoon, but you can use more or none at all.

Put the lidded pan into the preheated oven. Yes mine looks like this. So much for getting the self-cleaning model.

Set the timer for 15 minutes.
You are going to stir the onions every 15 minutes for about 2 hours, so it's a good time to get stuff done around the house. Or watch movies on netflix.

They will go from looking like this:

To looking like this:

All done!

I put them into an ice cube tray to freeze in small portions for using in recipes, but I don't recommend you do this. They were really hard to get out after they froze. Next time I will probably just freeze  separate little mounds on a sheet of freezer paper

 Also a word of warning - this method will make your house smell like onions for days after. Best done on a nice day when you can open windows and when you aren't expecting company!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Got the Big Eye: Kritters of the Kitchen Kingdom

 This children's book from 1922 melds horrifying vegetable crafts, dismal puns, creepy drawing and blatant racism into one nightmare-inducing page turner.

Got the Big Eye: Kritters of the Kitchen Kingdom

Monday, September 30, 2013

I Already Won, Thank You.

I'm always joking that we need to win the lottery, but tonight I come out of the grocery pushing an absolutely bountiful cart full of my favorite foods to a car that is paid for so I can drive to a sweet house with 3 kitties, all the instruments I could hope to play, all the books I could hope to read, and a BBE (Best Boyfriend Ever) to share it with and I have to ask just how much more winning does it get? Also the sky looked like this.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

There are many conversations happening in contra dance circles about "bad behavior" at dances. I don't really want to get into a discussion about what is considered good and bad and what the rules should be, but it does occur to me that the source of most unpleasant behavior at dances is rooted in fear. For instance (no judgement here - just an example), people book ahead because they are afraid of being left out, afraid of getting a clumsy or creepy partner, afraid of not enjoying themselves.

I can't help but wonder what would happen if we chose to dance fearlessly? What if we chose to dance without judgement or fear of being judged? What if we danced with the assurance that we can have a great time with any partner, with the confidence that our needs will be met, and, more importantly, danced with the courage that we can help make the dance joyful for everyone we encounter?

Ever have a dance get all snarled up despite everyone's best efforts? I've seen dancers get cranky and even angry. But oh my lord what a difference when someone says, "It doesn't matter, we're excellent dancers and can have fun no matter what!" All of a sudden the room is oxygenated again, the smiles come back, the music sparks and our whole reason for being there settles back into place.

So I write this about dancing, but it's really about everything:
Dance fearlessly, everything is going to be ok.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Zurk You, Too

So this might be the single-most obnoxious email I've ever received from a company who was trying to keep my business. I tried Zurker 96 days ago as a possible alternative to Facebook, but was immediately swamped with spammy connections and idiotic posts. Also the made-up "zurk, zurker, zurking" was more than I could stomach - call me irked, irker, irking. Needless to say the account is closed, the mysterious "vShares" have been forfeited and I am no longer a Zurker (thank the almighty stars above). Here is a beautiful example of a customer-repelling letter to be filed with your Abercrombie & Fitch press releases and Paula Deen cookware.

Hi Sarah Gowan,

The premise behind Zurker has always been that it is a social network owned by the members who use it.

Emphasis on "use it."

If you do not use Zurker, you are not entitled to co-own Zurker.

You last came to Zurker 96 days ago. This is unacceptable. If you continue to refuse to support the project, your vShares will be rescinded.

It's been 18+ months since Zurker was launched. During this time, a huge amount of development has taken place, and the world has shifted in our favor. The world is as ready for a member-owned, ethically run, privacy-oriented social network as it will ever be. We must now come together and support the project with activity and traffic so that we can make an impact on the media, and claim our rightful destiny as the world's next dominant social network.

A large number of members have started zurking regularly and our traffic profile has improved dramatically, by no less than 130,000 Alexa points in just a fortnight - but many more continue to be absent. For Zurker to become successful, we need everyone to show up and support the project.

This includes you, Sarah Gowan. 

All you need to do is zurk one post a day. This takes less than 1 minute. I am sure you can spare 1 minute a day to support a project you co-own, but if this is not possible, you might as well close your account now.

I am confident that enough Zurkers will come together and propel us to success. But if not, I will not be held liable for the closure of this project. This is a community-owned, community-driven project. Irrespective of what I do, the community must come together for this project to go anywhere. You are an important part of the community, and I am counting on you to do your part.

Stay blessed.

Nick Oba
Custodian and co-founder of Zurker

Monday, June 10, 2013

Closet Purge the Easy Way

Here is my new method of purging clothes:

Try on all the pants.
Get rid of the pants that hurt

Put on the most unflattering pair of pants I'm keeping (mine are heather yoga pants - cute under a tunic, but otherwise not so much.)

Try on all the shirts
Get rid of the shirts that don't make the yoga pants look good
Get rid of the shirts that need more than 2 safety pins to stay together
Get rid of the shirts that make too much noise
Get rid of the shirts that make me look like a hepatitis patient
Get rid of the shirts that hurt

Here is the other trick I used: 

Put the things I look fabulous in the Yes pile. 
Put the stuff I can't even get over my head in the No pile. 
Everything else in the Maybe pile. 
Put the Yes clothes away
Put the Maybe clothes in the No pile
Put the No clothes in the donation bag
Don't look back.


Saturday, June 1, 2013

Adventures in Hypochondria

I got an email today and thought, "Oh dear lord, what fresh hell is this?". One repeated word was slightly - and I mean VERY lightly - highlighted. Just enough to look like spots in my vision. 

I was sure the macular degeneration had started and I was going blind right then and there or maybe I was stroking out or having super speed growing eyeball tumors. My kid read the email and reassured me that it really was just highlighted text and I didn't need to be airlifted to the emergency room anytime soon.

Also, I promise not to "inbite" friends, singing or not.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Late last night

I accidentally spilled a bit of an adult beverage on the option (alt) key after which everything I typed looked like this: µ¥ ˚´¥∫øå®∂ ©ø† ∂®¨˜˚≤ ∫¨† ˆ ∂ˆ∂˜æ†≥
I think my keyboard had more fun than me.

Monday, April 1, 2013

S1N City

My favorite intersection in Philadelphia where City S1N meets the bigass visiting pope cross.

Monday, March 25, 2013

About My Lady Business: Picture Day

I go in for my 3 month Lady Cancer check-up and darling doctor J sees that I'm due for a mammogram. He says he also wants to do a manual breast exam. Fine. Whatever. I've been getting these since I was a teenager and it's no big deal. Thankfully there was also a female nurse and a female resident in the room when this slightly surreal conversation happened:      I'm laying there with one hand flung over my head wondering if my deodorant was holding up or (worse) if it was forming unsightly little pit pills, when he says,

Doc: "You know," [push poke push], "they are no longer recommending manual breast exams. Just mammograms." [mush poke] 

Me: "Really?

Doc: "Not even self exams. Other side"

Me: "Then why are you still doing them?"

Doc: [sigh/headdrop] "I don't know." [poke push]

Me: "And yet you're still touching my boob..."

Where I parked
So today I go for my mammogram at my local hospital. After dealing with two hospitals in the last year, I tend to forget things like where I parked so I've learned to take a picture of my parking level.  Today was M3.

The place I go is very nice with real cloth gowns, nice dressing rooms with forgiving lighting and even a cappuccino machine.

Stylin' in the cloth gown!

Disney Princess dressing rooms!


I think grown-up should get merit badges too.
Today was my 10th mammogram!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Do Not Open! Never Bye

Cleaning out my almost-adult kid's room we found a box from many years ago...

Inside was another box labeled "Stay Away, Keep Out, Secret, Go Away, Do Not Open!, Never Bye."

So for sure we had to open it.

There was another round box.

With "My Diary" inside.

The box had a false bottom with a secret message.

"Aaron Cartter is so cute"

There was also an "Evil Pen of Evil"

The Diary contained one entry. We had no idea what Johnny Depp did to get crossed off the A-List, but he was definitely OUT.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Snow Day

Our band Corachree got snowed out of our weekend gigs in Upstate NY.
I made a publicity photo for us...