My Dearest Sister (In Law) - March 18, 2020

Dearest Sister-In-Law, (S.I.L. as I fondly refer to you)

I take pen in hand to write to you, as a night of revelry, dancing, and drink prove to be too much for my husband’s delicate constitution. Whomever said that women are the weaker sex has never worn a corset for even an hour or challenged an Irish lass to a rousing game of "Beer Pong" on St. Patrick's Day". I'm sure he will rise on the morro's morn as right a G# belongs in a C Augmented Chord and Mr. Jamison's curse will be gone.

I pray this letter finds you and your family well on this 5th day of Coronacation and trust that you are abiding within this new social distancing law.

These do seem like troubling times and the quarantine could be a month of Sundays but your brother and I are finding new ways to entertain each other and finally have some fizzing time to spend together.

This is nothing new to us as our busy schedules have been hitherto keeping us at a social distance for years.

It’s nice to finally get to know the dash-fire man I married some odd 20 years ago.
Me thinks he is finally privy to the fact that the Irish lass he married is a bit “Off One’s Chump”. Please know I am finding folly with this statement and laughing out loud (however softly as to not rouse my husband)

Last night we celebrated my heritage and my Uncle Patty’s Day with some fresh vegetables from the garden scattered upon flat bread (which is queerly called pizza and hails from County Naples) and of course threw back a few goblets of Scandal Water.

Keeping with the law of sanitizing, your brother and I have taken to washing our hands most frequently. He washes mine and I wash his. Another fun task we have learned to do together. Our house is also spotless. As I swept the kitchen floor yesterday, surprised there was not a crumb to be lifted, your brother reminded me that I just swept the floor not hours before. Needless to say – our home is clean and ready for visitors. Visitors that ne’er arrive.

You and I both being of the musical ilk, I imagine you are biding your time within the confines of your home playing music with that handsome husband of yours. I, often find myself wandering alone to the parlor to sit down at the piano to play the classics. Bach, Beethoven and Beatles. Because of the social distancing and your brother not allowing anyone in our home, I am sadly playing for no one’s ears but myself and your brother. Although after sitting down to play, I quickly notice, thru the corner of my eye, that he slowly saunters off to his study and quietly closes the door.

I query. . . if a piano is played in the forest with no one listening, is it still entertaining?

In closing, stay healthy and clean yourself often.

Affectionately yours,

Your sister-in-law,
S.I.L.

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Julie Dolan is an actress, musician and favorite Irish wife/Las Vegas Showgirl. We were thrilled the day she married my brother.
Lon Gowan is an actor/stuntman/writer and the most excellent brother a sister could ever want. His "My Dearest Sister" letters may be the best thing to happen to me during the COVID-19 Quarantines.

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